


They Want the ED

by Adenil



Category: Ed Edd n Eddy
Genre: Crack, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-01
Updated: 2014-02-01
Packaged: 2018-01-10 19:03:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1163348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adenil/pseuds/Adenil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the epic battle of Kevin vs. Eddy for the affections of one Double Dork, who will win? Or is there enough of Double D to go around?</p>
            </blockquote>





	They Want the ED

**Author's Note:**

> A little crack fic I wrote early one morning to take a break from the novel-length KevEdd piece I'm writing. Enjoy!

“He’s my Double Dweeb! Back off!”

Kevin pushed the shorter man to the ground. With a growl, Eddy leapt up, tearing into Kevin with fists and nails. They pulled hair, bit skin, and at one point a passer-by would have sworn that Ed stopped by just to casually sling pudding on them. Eddy and Kevin fought for honor, glory, and sex as Double D stood by, knees quaking. 

“Gentlemen… Gentlemen! Gentlemen, please!” He cried, but to no avail. Somehow Kevin had lost his pants and torn Eddy’s shirt right off. The two of them tussled on the ground of Double D’s bed room until Kevin finally managed to wrap his legs around Eddy and pin him face-down to the floor.

In retrospect, Double D thought as he considered the scene—two flushed faces of two handsome men in an endless battle—it was rather foolish to invite them both here at the same time.

Double D had been attempting to discover which of the two men he preferred, ahem, sexually for nearly a decade now. He had waffled back and forth, even kissed both of them! Yet still he could not come to a decision. He had thought that the three of them could discuss this like civilized men, but that was clearly not happening.

“Let go of me, shovel chin! Double D invited me because I’m good-looking! Unlike your ugly face!” Eddy flipped over, sending a bare-legged Kevin flying. Eddy managed one oh-so-sultry look over his shoulder at Double D, flexing his beer-gut, before Kevin tackled him again.

Double D watched them duke it out for a few more moments, and a few more articles of clothing, before it finally clicked. He snapped his fingers in realization.

Somehow, the snap got their attention. They both looked at him sheepishly as he tapped his toe on the floor. “Gentlemen, please. There is enough of me to go around.”

They started to argue, Kevin desperate, Eddy desperate-er. Finally, Double D held up a hand.

“I think it’s time you two learned why they call me ‘Double D.’” And with that, he dropped his pants.

Some men are tripods, as the saying goes. Others wish they were. But there were few who could even fathom the glory Double D achieved as he stood there in all his glory, a quadruped.

The two men looked to his crotch. Then back to his face. Crotch. Face. Crotch. Face. Crotch…

It must have been divine intervention, for they both jumped at the same time and discovered there was, indeed, enough to go around. 

Later, he showed them why they called him “eighty-eight fingers Eddward” and they made beautiful music together.


End file.
